Mon, 13 February 2023
Dallin Seely from YouTube channel @TheDashleys grew up as a multigenerational Mormon. When he was seven years old, his father passed away from stomach cancer. Despite this tragedy, the church provided a lot of support to him and his family. The early death of his father leads Dallin to experience intense scrupulosity as he worries that he will never see his father again in heaven if he isn't "worthy" according to LDS Standards. A strict Bishop exacerbates Dallin’s scrupulosity but is somewhat alleviated when a new bishop tells him that his worthiness was not determined by others. When he came home from his mission, he was encouraged to get married, but he continued to have doubts about the church's teachings, such as the priesthood ban for black members.
Dallin felt the Holy Ghost told him to marry a certain woman, but he falls in love with Ashley, another faithful woman but who seems a bit less "proper" to Dallin for things like expressing humor through sarcasm. Dallin follows his own heart and marries Ashley anyway. The couple deals with the church’s inherent sexism, including in the temple and the teaching of “the patriarchal order” in the Mormon church. Continuous marriage struggles lead them to seek therapy. This led to the healthiest time in their marriage, as they were able to have emotional intimacy and talk about their feelings, including Ashley's feelings about General Conferences and sexism. They did not want to teach their daughter to feel inferior to men. Dallin and Ashley tell how they learned to embrace their true selves and how they are raising their children in a way that eliminates guilt and fear.
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